这几天，我忙着在整理报告所需要的照片。但在无意中发现我们过去的合照。。。 回忆就这样不断的涌现，快乐，悲伤全部浮现在脑海里。

我对着照片傻笑着，心想我们那时有多爱彼此。

我一直以为你真的就是我的唯一，直到你和我说分手的那天。

你说你对我没有感觉。

可能是我的错，我无意识的忽略了你。。。

我只想让你知道我对你的誓言，我永远都不会忘记。

我会等，我对你的爱永不会变。

I dreamt of the sadness i felt almost a month ago.

Why do I have to dreamt of it again? and on CHRISTMAS!

What a day to start with…

Maybe I did not try hard enough to know people…

Billion of people out there and i only know a few hundred…

so maybe it’s time to do something about it…

stop complaining… stop comparing… and start doing something about it…

Why cant you realize the things i’m going through and try to encourage me rather than telling me what to do?

Why can’t you be in other people’s shoes and not in your own always?

so many why… but the answer lies just right in front of you…

Stop denying… but if you don’t realize then nothing I can do.

Having feeling is the nature of humanities… everyone needs care and concern…

but when people around you doesn’t care about you… they are just pushing your true self into the darkest hole on earth… your true self might just be gone forever if nobody salvage you…

time waits for nobody… salvage yourself if you can… if you can’t… all you need to do is to wait for the one person that can find you in the dark corner…

why you left me when i need your care and concern…

why you left me with no pieces intact…

why… no feeling…why…

i asked even though i noe it will ended this way…

i asked even though it might make me feel worst…

i asked because i don seem to be able to let go even when people around me asked me to…

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
you’ll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
smile, what’s the use of crying.
you’ll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

Thanks for the quote from my new friend.

I had this strange feeling that she will be at the end of that corridor when i was walking towards it…

And i saw her… that mixed feeling… i don know how to describe that feeling…

Not sure if i should say hi… but i did… i just felt my heart aching every time i see her…

I tried to numb my feelings by watching horror movies but it won’t work…

what should i do now? just pretend to be happy and say hi to her?

my eyes turn red every time i look away… *sigh*

This is the 10th time… from the day you said you go tno feeling for me…

In the dream, you ignored my presence… in real life, it is the same…

the feeling sucks when someone i really love so much ignored me and had no feeling for me…

it takes time i know… it takes time…

please… someone please help me… even if i find help… i still cannot stop dreaming of you…

being ignored is a torment to me… i constantly trying to seek attention… but i tried too hard…

it ended up like me being the irritating one… the person that is not suppose to be there…

i saw this phrase somewhere ” 爱就要敢于放手，不要进入你所爱的人的人生。”

so does it mean that i should not appear in front of her anymore…

how can i end this suffering… time seems to pass slower than i thought…

i can feel it every second, every minute… i have to go through this everyday…

10 days… and still have more to come…

It was my fault all along… I caused her to drift away from me… My mistakes and my loss…

I realized that i did not really care for her when she needs it… it was always her best friend that’s at her side…

and i’m not… sorry… you cried… but i walked away thinking that ur best friend would be able to help… i walked away

from you… sorry… i took advantage of ur best friend’s presence… that was a big mistake… i know realizing this is too

late… nothing can be the same now… bcoz i planted the mistake long ago…

i didn’t really ask you about your feelings… i only thought of what i can provide you… but it didn’t show my care…

I said you didn’t show care and concern to me… it’s wrong… i’m the one not doing it!!! sorry… sorry for wrongly

accusing you when i’m an asshole myself…

It’s me, not you… sorry… it’s not your friend’s fault… it’s me…

but it is over now… the mistake was too great that i cannot amend…

nobody know i’m blogging as well so nobody will know the truth… only me…

HAHAHAHAHA… what an asshole i am… lost one important part of life… I paid an uncountable price for this lesson…

sorry for all the things i have done… bringing you all the misery and unhappiness… take care… and farewell…

Good luck to you and your friends for the coming exam… i wrote it even though i know that nobody will read this……

i found this corner where i can express my feelings without people knowing…